CLARITY AND KENO
It is with a heavy heart I share my thoughts and feelings.
I have had a cold for the past week and as a result have been spending more time at home, resting and trying to get rid of this bug. I thought I was over it and yesterday I woke up with an excruciating headache, was sick to my stomach, and needed to take another day off work. It was during this time, I noticed Keno's difficulty getting up on his own many times throughout the day. I found myself helping him stand repeatedly and then he seemed fine. I checked in with his fabulous Vet, Jim Dickes at Uptown Animal Hospital and discussed this change. We have been "mindful" of not wanting Keno to be in pain during this journey. I brought up I felt the time was getting closer to euthanise him, but stated, "he still has such an amazing appetite." Jim encouraged me to look at the whole picture and continue to journal about how Keno's days are.
When I got off the phone, I walked outside with Keno and we immediately encountered one of my favorite neighborhood dogs and his owner. I shared with the fellow dog owner I had just got off the phone with my Vet and Keno's time may be drawing near. Tears came to my eyes, as I saw Keno lay down in the grass, while the other dog wanted to play with him. I could see Keno wanting to play (best player of all time), but his body no longer allows him to.
This morning around 4 a.m. I heard Keno try to get up and he couldn't. I helped him up and to walk with quite a bit of effort on both our parts. I got him back into his comfy bed and went to work. Once again, leaving work early to see how he was. Again, like the last time I blogged on 2/19 he was able to get up (with help) when I arrived home this afternoon and enjoyed his walk, albeit a little unsteady at times.
It is clear to me now...it is time to say good-bye. It looks like I will schedule his final visit with our favorite Vet for this Friday morning. It is hard to imagine saying good-bye to him and returning home without him here. I am grateful for all the support I have in family, friends and, in particular, fellow animal lovers who have traveled this path many times before me. This will be the first time I will be saying good-bye to a pet.
In the meantime, I continue to be in the moment and enjoy every moment and thank God for all the wonderful years we had together. Also, I appreciate the clarity being home sick gave me to see the truth of Keno's decline.